When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not. (Sadly, most people I meet chose war!) What do you chose? Here's my essay on this situation.Continue reading
I can think of nothing as important as getting to be, and staying, Dialogical. It makes possible solutions to all the relationship troubles. This is the list of one line reminders that I have used over the past 15 years to remind me of "a better way of getting along." I often have had a piece of paper with one of these phrases on my wall (sometimes many walls) at home or in my office where I can see it every day. These are learning tools.Continue reading
How about it? Want to learn to be empathic? Want to know when you aren't? Want to improve? I believe that more and more people will be talking about the “need for more empathy.” I believe that the primary cause of conflict in our families, our partnerships, our business, our marriages, our political communities, our churches, and in the world, is a pronounced lack of reliable empathic skills.Continue reading
My friend, Scott Dodson, spent years reading and absorbing all the stuff I teach. The "method in his madness" was to write a marvelous fantasy book: kind of a "Harry Potter" meets Relationships. Alfred, the Turtle, not only is central, but seems to be able to fly! At least on the cover.
As I was learning to Mirror (a skill taught by all Imago therapists), I ran into a specific problem that often blocked communication just while people were trying to improve it. Solving this problem, I think, is critical to maintaining good relationshipsContinue reading
Here's the class that I use to teach mirroring. I teach every couple or individual using this class. It has all the critical points. Enjoy.Continue reading
If you have arrived here interested in getting a wonderful partnership, or interested in how to do better, or interested in saving your marriage or that of friends, parents or children, or just interested in specifics of how peaceful partnerships work, you have arrived at a right place.
And all this is free for the reading. What can you loose? My good wishes to you all. Go 4 It!Continue reading
I have received requests to list books that have been, and are, important to me in developing my thinking. Here I will organize that list, and link them to Amazon.com, so that you can get them. This list will grow as I think of them. I am just listing the ones that have been repeatably, and durably, “hot” for me. Enjoy!Continue reading
Here's a letter by another clinger (Bless her and all the clingers out there), about learning from my website and applying what she has learned. Wow, working on yourself can be really eventful!Continue reading
Here we are, about to head off on another vacation, and I promised that I would write down how we manage keeping it so much fun.Continue reading