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Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Four, Appropriate Expression

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 22, 2008 by Al TurtleOctober 17, 2017 5

This is the last part of my essay on Feelings and Emotions. I am going to be speaking about “expression.” Now, lack of emotional expression, I believe, causes huge confusion in relationships and and will shorten your life. But, incorrect expression causes lots and lots of trouble, too. My goal is to focus on what I call “Appropriate Expression.” Many groups and cultures have strong rules about the “correct” way to express or hold in emotions. What I am going to write may seem to go against many of those rules – may seem critical of them. I do not choose to set myself up in that judgmental position. I simply want to share what I have learned.

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Posted in Diversity, Feelings and Emotions, Reliable Membership | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, passivity, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 5 Replies

Lizard Chats: Seeing as our little friend sees it.

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 29, 2007 by Al TurtleSeptember 16, 2012 1

This is a continuation of a discussion begun based on my paper on Safety and the Lizard Brain. An exercise in seeing the partnership of the reptilian brain, how it works, what it is trying to do. Click here for the original article on Safety.

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged boundary, essay, feelings, Imago, safety, trust | 1 Reply

The Power of Passivity: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 28, 2007 by Al TurtleDecember 8, 2018 6

This is a paper about the problem of "victimicity." It is Part 2 of my work on Master/Slave and Autonomy. You may want to read it with some caution, particularly because, based on feedback, this seems to be almost "graduate level" relationship material. It seems you really must be prepared to read it. Please be patient with me, and with yourselves. More material was added 7/5/07. I am sure there will still be minor changes and additions – and one last bit.

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Posted in Autonomy, Diversity, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, codependency, codependent, dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, master-slave, mastertalk, mirroring, passivity, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust, validation | 6 Replies

(audio) Listen to the Master/Slave Lecture

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on July 10, 2006 by Al TurtleFebruary 7, 2019  

Here is the Master/Slave lecture given before a live audience.  Download MP3, 29 minutes long. 8726KB.  Yours for $5.00. The Master/Slave chart is here.  The Master/Slave Essay is here. … Continue reading →

Posted in Autonomy, Podcasts | Tagged dialogue, essay, safety, share | Leave a reply

Caring Behaviors

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on January 30, 2006 by Al TurtleJanuary 30, 2006 7

This paper is an excerpt from my essay on SAFETY, The Lizard. It describes tactics for “making your partner feel safe.”

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Posted in Safety and Trust | Tagged essay, feelings, Imago, pulling, safety, trust | 7 Replies

Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Three, Energetics, The Flow of Feelings & Depression

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on October 5, 2005 by Al TurtleApril 13, 2013 9

I am now going to shift directions. The following essay arises out of years of studying Wilhelm Reich,MD and his followers, the general field of body therapy and the specifics of what is often called Energetics. To me, this is the study of energy – human energy. As I refer to energy, I am talking about that which makes us go and that which we lose when we die. It is very much a body-thing.

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Posted in Feelings and Emotions | Tagged dialogue, essay, feelings, make sense, point of view, safety, share, validation | 9 Replies

Healing Frustrations: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 16, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 3, 2017  

I believe that Frustrations are the critical element to making progress in a Relationship. Healing Frustrations is the key. I call it the ?ratchet? process because , like a ratchet wrench, it makes things move forward and you can?t back up. The following essay contains what I see as the background for dealing with frustrations. It clears up a lot of misunderstandings and can help you stop wasting time and energy in doing things that do not work.

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Posted in Healing the Past | Tagged dialogue, essay, fault, feelings, make sense, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, trust, validation | Leave a reply

Frustrations: A Chart

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on August 16, 2005 by Al TurtleAugust 16, 2005  

This is a chart that goes with the Healing Frustrations essay. I share this with anyone in a group or in my office who is trying to understand how to approach Frustrations.

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Posted in Healing the Past | Tagged essay | Leave a reply

Boundaries for Couples: The Essay

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on May 10, 2005 by Al TurtleJune 24, 2014 21

Even as I began to understand about boundaries for individuals, I was still stunned by what wildness happens in a committed couple. People keep telling me that they can get along with anyone except their partner at home. I frequently watch professionally competent couples act like little, tantrum-throwing, children in my office. What are the boundary issues that make the experiences of couples, or an intimate relationships, so powerful? This paper covers what I have learned going on.

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Posted in Boundaries, Diversity, Reliable Membership | Tagged boundary, dialogue, essay, feelings, Imago, master-slave, mirroring, narcisism, pulling, safety, share, trust | 21 Replies

Feelings and Emotions: The Essay, Part Two (FEAR, ANGER, GRIEF, JOY)

Al Turtle's Relationship Wisdom Posted on April 13, 2005 by Al TurtleApril 13, 2013 5

Now, I want to address the four prime emotions of fear, anger, grief and joy. Why only four? Well, these are the ones that give most people lots of trouble, both in having them, dealing with them and communicating about them. I will address one at a time, starting with FEAR.

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Posted in Feelings and Emotions | Tagged affair, dialogue, essay, feelings, peace, point of view, pulling, safety, share, trust | 5 Replies

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