Summary: This paper covers the two ways that people can come together and share (or not) their different views of reality. Relating via Master/Slave is only functional in certain situations: where efficiency is needed as in business, where property ownership is involved, in emergencies. Relating via Friend/Friend is normal during courtship. Master/Slave, commonly used in intimate relationships or families, is dysfunctional. Learn the critical skills of Friend/Friend to end argument and prevent fighting. This is the first of three parts on Autonomy.Continue reading →
This is the lesson I teach every person I see. This is critical information for people who are puzzled, bothered, or upset when they find they disagree or that others disagree with them.
These concepts are vital to the practice of Dialogue and Communologue.Continue reading →
This discusses a great and eroding problem within a relationship: keeping silent, keeping secrets.Continue reading →
Here are some more thoughts about PreValidation and Validation.Continue reading →
This paper discusses the issue of Resentment that from time to time becomes an important issue in couples or between groups of people. It includes suggestions on how to remove the resentment. I believe this cannot be done, passively, by waiting. Resentment does not seem to go away by letting time pass. I believe resentment only goes away via the use of validation, and dialogue.Continue reading →
This is the training tool for communication. It's purpose is to train people in the 52 distinct skills necessary for making speakers feel heard and making listeners relaxed while listening to anything.Continue reading →
This is a true story I sometimes tell people who are first learning to use Mirroring and who are resisting practicing.Continue reading →
I use these three terms (Master, Slave, Friend) to refer to the three positions from which and to which communication can be addressed. These are similar to the positions in Transactional Analysis of Parent, Child, and Adult. No one is a Master. They just speak, and perhaps think, from the Master position. No one is a Slave. They just speak from the Slave position.
MasterTalk seems extremely easy to identify in conversation and writing.
Handling the language of Master/Slave RelationshipsContinue reading →
This is the whole story of intimate relationships. I wrote this early version in the September of 2003, after all the pieces had fallen into place in my head.Continue reading →