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I hope you are looking for love, a great relationship for yourself, and maybe eventually a durable marriage, or even just the skills to get along well with anyone, and ways to make the world a better place. If you have, … Continue reading →
Tag Archives: dialogue
Which Essays are Popular? (Updated April 8, 2018)
People are taking the time to read, download, and hand out my articles – over 134,000 readers in the past year. This is pretty powerful stuff, and I am very gratified that so many are valuing it. My deep goal is, of course, to get to the children. "Happier couples raise healthier kids." And this advice works with any kind of relationship. With your help the world is a little better, a little more connected, than when we found it. Thanks.
Continue reading →Where do you start? What goes first?
I often get asked this, and fortunately for me the answer is clear. But let's state the question more clearly. If I am in a couple, a relationship, what do I/we focus on first, second, third, etc. to make things better. Ok, here we go. The answer arises from two different major principles: the Anna Karenina Principle and the Biological Dream.
Continue reading →Peace Building: The Essay
When two people come together, they have a choice: to move toward Peace or to move toward War. The choices and the actions/habits that go with them are clear when one studies couples who are successful at bringing lasting Peace and those who are not. (Sadly, most people I meet chose war!) What do you chose? Here's my essay on this situation.
One Liners that have helped me stay Dialogical
I can think of nothing as important as getting to be, and staying, Dialogical. It makes possible solutions to all the relationship troubles. This is the list of one line reminders that I have used over the past 15 years to remind me of "a better way of getting along." I often have had a piece of paper with one of these phrases on my wall (sometimes many walls) at home or in my office where I can see it every day. These are learning tools.
Continue reading →Relationship Posters for the Wall
In many ways, I am a slow learner. I have used many white sheets of paper with a saying on it. I posted these on the walls at my home and at my office, to keep reminding me over and over until my thick brain “get’s it.” Here are a bunch of them.
Continue reading →The Road to Empathy: The Essay
How about it? Want to learn to be empathic? Want to know when you aren't? Want to improve? I believe that more and more people will be talking about the “need for more empathy.” I believe that the primary cause of conflict in our families, our partnerships, our business, our marriages, our political communities, our churches, and in the world, is a pronounced lack of reliable empathic skills.
Awakening Purpose in Your Life
I wrote this in August 2010 in response to the postings of some friends in Marriage Advocates, directly on this topic. There are several life events that bring this drive toward Purpose in Life to the surface: a close-brush-with-death is good, retirement or closing-of-a-job in men, children-leaving-home in women are a few examples. In many writings this is called a midlife- or an identity-crisis. Whatever, we have to deal with it.
Continue reading →Combating Loneliness
A short essay on the new phenomenon of Living Alone. Seems that this is preferable to being in a relationship where you feel alone. If your partner feels alone, what can you do to change this and prevent it? What can you do to not feel alone yourself? What can you do to impress a new acquaintance that they won't have to feel alone – with you?
Continue reading →Where are you? What type of Relationship do you Have? Right now!
A fun article with labels for the different types of relationships. Tis all based on my Map of Relationships and experience. Take this as seriously as you choose.