As I was learning to Mirror (a skill taught by all Imago therapists), I ran into a specific problem that often blocked communication just while people were trying to improve it. Solving this problem, I think, is critical to maintaining good relationships
Continue readingHere's the class that I use to teach mirroring. I teach every couple or individual using this class. It has all the critical points. Enjoy.
Continue readingPeople still ask me, How much should I tell my partner? This paper and chart have had quite an impact on people. In some cases it has been "life changing" after one reading. That has surprised and pleased me.
Continue readingSo many times I've heard the phrase, "he/she did that out of the blue." I love the phrase. It seems so colorful. And also many people write me, and read my thoughts, about what to do when he/she leaves. Put these two issues together and I give you this article.
Continue readingThe Goal Of Communication in Relationships is that both persons feel understood frequently, and always when the subject is important to one or the other.
(I wrote this some years ago. See how all the ideas on my website are worked into it.)
These are my notes for teaching Mirroring and for a class on “How to Teach Mirroring.”
Continue readingI think that “Being Dialogical” is the inverse of being Emotionally Symbiotic. If we keep an ear out for MasterTalk, and remove it, we can easily and durably stay in a Dialogical space.
Continue readingThis is a technique I use in the office when people are very reactive about an incident. I use it often. I have noticed that I refer to it in one of my most popular articles – on Resentments. Yet, nowhere have I written up how to do it. So, here goes.
Continue readingDo you talk too much or two fast? Hey, I do! On the one hand it is a wonderful advantage. It has also caused a lot of trouble for me – because it drives people crazy.
Continue readingThis is a beginner, Validation exercise. You are Uninformed at that point when you think your partner is doing something odd or that “doesn’t make sense to you.” If you were informed, you wouldn’t think it odd, and you would see your partner’s sense. Use this practice sheet to get good at Validating.
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