It started with the word “Resentment”

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Hi Al,
 
I stumbled upon you site after googling resentment!   After years of an emotional roller coaster marriage…things are finally making sense! 
 
About a week ago, my husband realized he was resenting me…and has been for about 11 1/2 years.  WOW.  It hurt to hear, and I was angry and didn't know what to do, and how to even begin to cope! 
 
It was a HUGE step for him to admit to any emotion, so that had me holding on.  I showed him your website, and it was as if he lit up!  Light bulbs were turning on left and right.  And for me too!  Because I always thought he was the one with the problem 🙂  Ooopppss!! 
 
Turns out, he is an avoider…I am a clinger.  And we have always felt ashamed about this.  I felt weak for feeling this way, and he felt a little unstable.  Ever thought about that?…The shame part?
 
Any who, thank you for helping us!  I feel like I can cope with life now!  I have never felt that way (34 years old), and I was starting to feel like that was just life.  He is grasping everything much faster than I am.  But – I will get it!  We took a time out for a week, and now he is back home.  And I am giving him his space because I understand that it has nothing to do with me, he just needs that…and he is understanding how I feel about the clinging…ahhh to be understood! 
 
We are going to therapy on Friday, we are really nervous.  By the way, I made the appointment (ha ha).  I feel like we already have the tools & the willingness to work on this together, and I feel like we really do not need it.  But I suppose every person feels like that, it is kind-of like when you are debating on whether you need to go to the emergency room….if you have to wonder, you probably need to go!!    
 
Wish you were in Georgia!!
 

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